I'm Getting Married Yesterday!!!

Weddings are....


Weddings make me.....




I usually hate weddings. Tipong bitterness to the core ung wedding-weddings na yan.. Something I can't have. Pero kung gano ko kabitter sa mga weddings, ganun din naman ako kabenta na maging bridesmaids nila. Kahit na sino. Kahit na di ko gaano ka-close eh nakukuha pa kong abay sa kasal nila ewan ko ba kung bakit. Minsan nga feeling ko kahit na mapadaan lang ako sa isang lugar na pinag uusapan na ang kasal eh makukuha at makukuha akong abay. Hayssss "always the bridesmaid, never the bride" ang drama.Last year lang eh almost 7x akong nagbridesmaid sa kasal ng kung sino-sino. Wag mo na itanong kung bakit almost, wala akong balak sagutin.  Oh weh anu naman ngayon?  Wala lang. Eh di pakasal na lahat ng tao sa buong mundo. At maiwan akong mag-isa. Yes, forever alone. I'll forever hold my own hand. Chos. Enough of the bitterment echos.


The past few days, napakaraming wedding achuchuchu ang meron all around me. Andyang merong  nagtatanong saken ng magandang motif daw, kung san maganda i-held ung reception nila, andyan din ung meron akong kamaganakan na magcecelebrate ng 25th wedding anniversary nila at gustong ikasal ulet, gusto nilang mangealam ako ng bonggacious sa preparations nila. Sila na ang madatung na gagastos ng limpak-limpak na peyses para dun habang ako, ako na salat at naghihikahos eh hindi nila matulungan. Char. (buti na lang nakatago tong blog na to sa mga relativities) At meron din akong mga nababalitaan na mga classmates from Highschool at college na finally after how many years of existence ng pagiging sila eh finally decided to tie the knot. 


Meron akong nakita na pikshur ng kakilala ko taken from a rooftop somewhere-i-dont-know. Nasabi kong rooftop kase gabi un tas makikita mo may mga lights-lights all around them. Tapos makikita mo rin parang may barandilya usually sa mga rooftop, o tapos un nga, andun sila, may pikshur, tas may kumikinang sa fingerloo ng girly. Tapos makikita mo ung mga sangkaterbang likes saka mga comments na kumu-kongratsumeleyshens. Ang syala ng kinang mo teh! Isa lang ang ibig sabihin nun diba? 


So, anong meron? Wala lang naman. Siguro napunta ko bigla dun sa point na nagwa-want na rin ako ng ganung bagay. I wanted a fairy tale wedding. Tipong gusto kong suungin ung stress ng pamimili ng food para sa reception, pag-isip ng magandang concept, pagtry ng gowns, pakikipag argue sa kung sino dapat at kung sino ang hindi dapat mailagay sa guest list, kung sinong magiging maid of honor, ilang flower girls dapat, anong flowers ang gagamitin sa bouquet... mga ganyan... in short, I wanna get married na rin! Di ko alam kung gusto ko talaga ung totoong konsepto ng kasal, o gusto ko lang just the wedding itself, basta ang alam ko right now, Gusto kong ikasal ako---gusto kong makasal..


Pero siguro bago ko muna isipin at pangarapin na ikakasal ako, siguro dapat maghanap muna ko ng taong magpapakasal at sasagot sa gastos ng kasalang inaasam ko. hahahaha btw, meron na kong naisip na wedding song ko. Nyahahahahahahaha.

Restless

"I'm going to take a hot shower while your clothes dry, " she said. "Help yourself to..whatever."


"Want company?"


She'd never heard two words with so much invitation in them.


Her mouth went dry. Her brain went hiatus. Of course, she wanted him to join her, but it was such a bad, bad, bad idea.


"You know, " he said, stepping so close "if we did what were both thinking of doing, maybe we could get it out of the way and not be so stressed about it."


"i'm not thinking..."


That was true. She was all sensation with no sensible thoughts to put on brakes.


"Aren't you just a tiny bit curious how we'd be together?" He took her in his arms and lightly kissed her eyelids. "No! I don't want to know. Anyway, it isn't something you get out of the way!"


"No, its the natural thing when two people are attracted to each other."


"I'm not attracted to you!" It was her all-time biggest lie.


"I'm not suggesting you like me, only that you want me as much as I want you."


"In your dreams." She was shivering from her lips to her toes and trying not to let him see. "Its crossed my mind we might be dynamite together."


He loosened the tie on her robe and let it hang from the loops on either side.  She took a little half step toward him and let her treacherous heart direct her into his arms. He put his hands under her robe, encircled her waist and drew against him, soft breasts against firm chest. They kissed until warmth flowed through her like stream heat, and she knew they had passed the point of no return.


"You need a warm shower," he whispered close to her ear.


"Yes."


"With me."


"Yes."


She needed him. He was as wrong for her as any man could ever be, but for once in her life, she was going to do something not on her list, not part of her agenda, not one of her goals. She slipped her hand into his and led him to the shower. He helped her out of her robe, ans she couldn't quite believe she was standing in front of him with nothing on. The shocked of her nakedness passed quickly, though when he dropped the towel and stepped into the stall to turn on the water.


She stepped under the warm water and into his arms. He reached beyond her to the hanging rack of shampoo and soap and pressed the pump on her shower scrub until his hands were enveloped in suds. Knowing what he was going to do didn't make it any less pleasurable. He lathered her shoulders and throat with leisurely caresses, stopping to fill his hands with more bubbles. She made a giggly sound when he made soapy swirls on her breasts and tummy, she felt very slippery and very, very sexy.


He was hard. his breaths came in rasps. "This is where I beg for mercy, " He softly teased, reaching up and shutting off the water. He found a towel and gently rubbed her dry. He then lifted her in his arms, cradling her against his chest for the few steps it took to reach her bed. He lowered her to the bed. He took one nipple into his mouth and gently suckled while his hand explored her body. Wherever he touched, she tingled, and when he parted her thighs, she covered his hand and push it harder against her.. He kissed her inner elbow, the back of her wrist, the crease between her thighs. He was breathing hard, but his lovemaking was leisurely even when she touched him, then stroked him with increasing urgency.


He moistened his finger on her tongue and slid it gently into her, caressing until she throbbed and urgently guided him toward her. He rose above her, his deep dark eyes staring at her, plunged deep in a compelling rhythm and continued until she melted, until she lost herself in the most amazing way.. He shuddered and held her close. She went limp and hugged him against her...


"That was so good." he said, softly kissing her swollen lips. He pulled her into his arms as she snuggled closer. and they both drifted off to sleep with a shy contented smile plastered on their faces.

And Then, Flatline.............. Random!

*** MU - Mutual Understanding; tipong "kayo" pero hindi kayo, hindi kayo pero parang "kayo".
Conclusion: ISANG NAPAKALABONG USAPAN. Walang linaw, walang kasiguruhan, walang       patutunguhan?


*** FB - Facebook? Hindi! Friends with Benefits; tipong hindi kayo, maaring at some point eh naging kayo-it ended-u became friends at dahil sa friendship-friendshipan naman kayo at parehas na singular at the moment, you both feel the need to benefit from each other. Ano daw? Yan yung hindi kayo pero nagpapasasa kayo sa benepisyo na nakapaloob sa sitwasyon ng "pang-kayo". Kung di mo naintindihan yang paliwanag ko, Pakamatay ka na!
Conclusion:  Enjoy while its there. Till supply lasts. May expiration date ang lahat ng bagay. PERO, may catch yan! Meron palaging isa na bumebreyk ng major rule ng FB na to, merong laging isa na mahuhulog at mahuhulog pa rin.. or possible na merong isa na hindi na makakaget over. Malulugmok na sya sa sitwasyon. Gudlak!


*** Is it possible to want someone or something forever without actually having them/it in your life? Is it possible to want something or someone forever without the "loving it" factor?


*** "When life fucks up, we just have to fuck right back and enjoy the orgasm." --Kaloytoots


*** Ilang araw na rin akong parang sintu-sinto dahil sa kung anik-anik na mga pangyayaring sabay-sabay na nagpapagulo sa tahimik(di nga?!) kong mundo. Mga pangyayaring hindi maiiwasan, at definitely hindi maaring takbuhan. Tipong ako lang ang salvation ng mga pangyayaring ito kasama na ng mga taong involved dito. Charot! What I'm trying to say is, shit happens. At sunud-sunod na shitty incidents ang nangyari and there's no other option for me but to face it, kase nga di naman ako pwedeng magdeadma-deadmahan lang at tumunganga. May umaasa. 


*** Nung isang araw ko pang gusto magsulat. Hindi ko magawa. Kahapon, gustung-gusto kong magsulat. Isulat lahat ng sama ng loob ko sa mundo at lalo na ung sama ng loob ko sa dalwang taong importante saken.  Eto nagsusulat ako ngayon, pero hindi ko pa rin makuhang ilabas kung anong tunay nasaloobin ko, ano nga bang totoong nararamdaman ko?


*** Valentine's day, Anu un? Bitterance ang dating? Hindi naman. Nakakatawa lang kase, its just another one of those ordinary days. kaparehas lang yan sa araw kung saan nagbabayad ka ng walang katapusan mong bills, o araw kung saan nagkakandakumahog ka sa deadlines mo, o araw kung san taeng-tae ka at walang malapit na CR. All I'm saying is that, we shouldnt make a big deal out of it kase.. wala lang yun. Eh ano kung me date sila sa 14? baket, sa 14 lang ba pwede makipag-date? Makikisiksik ka sa napakaraming pipila sa waiting area ng Sogo??  Wake up people! lol


*** Kapag daw ang trust ang nasira, mahirap ng i-rebuild. It actually takes a lifetime bago mabuo muli pero only seconds to destroy it. Siguro nga totoo, pero posibleng hindi, tipong case to case basis. Pero sa ngayon ang alam ko lang, nasaktan ako tas parang feeling ko nasasaktan pa rin ako. And no matter how hard or how much effort I put into taking it away.. I just can't. Hindi pa siguro time mawala nung pain. I-nunurture ko ba? Hahaha


***FLIRTATIONSHIP ; more than flirtation less than a relationship; eto ung kamag-anakan ni MU at FB.. (i think)

Playful Final..

The exchange of words broke the kiss. Without the kiss she was free to indulge herself by tasting him. He liked her nails so she ran them down on his back, loving the feel of his muscles flexing pleasurably, loving the groan he uttered just before he claimed one of her breasts with his mouth.


Desire stirred liked an unleashed serpent deep within her abdomen. He must have known because his hand was suddenly playing her stomach, moving downward, fingertips slipping beneath the scrappy fabric of her undies. The hand slipped lower. She groaned then gasped as pleasure licked with stunning intensity through to her toes and fingertips. He murmured something she didn't hear--it could have been her name or a curse because she knew she was rocketing right out of control.


The last of her clothing was trailed away; she was vaguely aware of him ridding himself of his own, When his hand were busy elsewhere his mouth took up the burning seduction of her breasts, her navel, brushing hot moist kisses along the inner surface of her thighs.


Flesh burned against flesh; long restless limbs tangled in a love-knot caress. They rolled, He came above her, her hands locked around his neck. It was then that she felt the probing force of his masculinity and as her insides curled in pure anticipation she uttered his name on a sensual breath.


He liked it; she felt his response in the small shudder that ripped through his body. She then responded with a little flexing of her hips that made her exquisitely aware of the power he was still keeping in check. She gave him her mouth, willingly hungrily. She gave him every bit of herself that she could possibly give. Like a man leaping into an fiery furnace knowing he was about to get severely burned, he made a single strangled sound in his throat then, swift and sure, he claimed the passage he had prepared for himself.


It was wild, it was shocking, it was shamelessly exhillirating. Barriers broke; she winced on a soft little gasp. He paused, touched her cheek with unsteady fingers, gently combed her hair away from her face.


She opened her eyes and made contact with the burning black density of his, then closed it again, then made a single stretching movement that fastened her to him as a whole new hot probing journey held her in its spectacular thrall. He took her to places she hadn't known existed. She learned what it was like to lose touch with everything but a swelling pulsing pleasure of senses. 


And when it was over, all she could do was hang onto him while he lay heavily on top of her with their pounding heartbeats throbbing all around.

Playful 2

He then led her through an erotic undressing by drawing the zip of her dress down her spine with caressing expertise that literally took her breath away. With his trembling fingers that trailed feather-light to her overexposed skin, slender back bone. She moved against him, kaalinsabay sa kanyang paggalaw, dama nya na nagustuhan nito ang kanyang mabini at erotikang paggalaw. 


He released an impatient sigh; she matched it too. He caught the sound on his tongue then fed it back to her, while his hands drifted up her arms until they reached her hands still locked around his neck. Drawing them downwards he encouraged her dress to slither down her body, then laid her hands against his shirt front. "Undress me," he urged.


Kahit na tila ba nahihiya, she complied with too much eagerness, nababanaag sa kanyang mga mata ang naglalagablab na pagnanasa. She complied while the caress of his hands and mouth urged her on.  Shirt buttons slid from their buttonholes to reveal more and more of that wonderful chest she loved to look at so much now. She allowed herself the pleasure of touching, placing her finger on his chest. Then because she wouldn't resist, the moist tip of her tongue followed the rail her fingers left. 


Then it was flesh on flesh, pleasure tangling up with pleasure as the whole thing shot off on its own natural journey. His arms were crushing her, his kiss was deep, penetrating to the core. He came down with her, his skin was moist, she yearned to taste it but the kiss was just too good to break away from. His hands begin caressing her with so much sensual expertise that she arched and flexed  as sensation washed over her in waves and scraped restless fingernails over his shoulder with enough urgency to make him shudder in response.


He released a thick laugh and said, "Do it again."




To be continued..

Playful

"I need you so badly. I need you now." Bulong nito sa kanya.

"You don't know what you're asking." Mariin nyang tanggi.

Naramdman niya ang hagod ng kamay nito sa kabuuan ng kanyang katawan, in a slow, languid, exploring caress that made her feel warm , wet and excited inside.

"Please don't say no. It will kill me if you do.", he said against the skin of her throat, his voice hoarse with desire.

Desire. Desire for him. Masidhi at nag-uumalpas.

He gripped her bottom and rubbed himself against her. And she could feel the need. A different kind of pain that excites her. Hot and empty.. And yet she was mindless with need, the aching desire. His tongue caressed her mouth, her soft lips erotically and coaxing her to play. She moaned as her tongue hesitantly play with his.

Nagmulat siya ng mga mata at baka sakaling manaig ang isip sa damdamin. Pero ang tanging nakita niya ay ang malamlam na mga mata nito filled with intense passion, nakikita niya ang mumunting pawis sa paligid ng noo nito, dala ng matinding pagpipigil sa masidhing excitement dala ng init ng kanilang mga katawan.

Then he bent to kiss her again, "I want you. I need you," he murmured inside her mouth.

To be continued..

De Numero

X: Hanggang kailan ba natin gagawin to?


Y: Hanggang gusto natin. Hanggang masaya tayo. hanggang di nabibisto.


Hanggang kailan nga ba? Hanggang kailan ka kakapit sa isang walang pinagpakuang pangako? Hanggang kailan mo hahayaang masaktan ka? Hanggang kailan mo hahayaang maging huli ka sa prayoridad nya? Hanggang kailan mo hahayaang naka-iskedyul ang kaligayahan mo? Para kang manikang de susi, para kang laruang sasakyang de remote control. Sya ang may hawak ng control, kung kailan nya gusto umandar ka, saka ka lang maliligayahan. Kapag binitawan nya ang remote control dahil napagod na syang maglaro, maiiwan kang nakatengga hanggang sa maisipan nya uli na balikan ka at laruin. Hanggang kailan mo hahayaan ang sarili mong maging palipasan? Palipasan ng panglaw, pagkabagot at kawalan ng opsyon sa mga piling panahon sa buhay nya.


Para saan ang pagtitiis? Para ba sa kakaunting oras na iniaatang nya sayo? Sa kapirasong ngiti na paminsan-minsang kumukurba sa iyong mga labi dahil sa biglaan nyang pagdating, sa biglaang pagpaparamdam, pagbibigay aliw. Kuntento ka na ba dun? Kailan ka tunay na liligaya?


Hindi ka ba napapagod maghintay? Hindi ka ba napapagod sa kakatingin sa labas ng gate ng bahay mo? Umaasa na sa mga susunod na minuto ay matatanglawan mong nasa may tarangkahan mo na sya at binibuksan ang gate papunta sayo. Palagian kang may nakahandang pagkain, baka sakaling dumating sya, may maihahain ka agad sa kanya. Pero mas madalas na lumalamig lamang ang pagkain na inihanda mo, tulad mo, naghihintay lang din.. naghihintay sa wala..


Hanggang kailan pa?