What hurts the most is having so much to say but there's no one to listen to you tas you just watch him walk away from your life. Parang tanga na this feeling. Why is it that the more I seek happiness, the more I lose it? Ang unfair lang. Sobra. It isnt easy to let go of something you've put everythin into (kahit na ang alam at pinaniniwalaan nya eh you havent given yourself or anything... kakatawa lang, marunong pa sya sa pakiramdam ko eh. Mas maalam pa sya sa kung anong totoong nararamdaman ko. Magaling daw siya sa pag analyze ng mga tao, he can see through your very soul lol or maybe im just making this all up hahaha whatever) Ang hirap lang kase, I have to go through every damn day havin to remember it. Ive been nurturing this hang over for three days already, meaning ive been drinking for three nights. I dont usually drink this much. Mainam kasing makapagpatulog ang alak, after a while, you get numbed tas eventually makakatulog ka, nakakatulong kesa sa valium. Which reminds me need to go back to my therapist para makapagpareseta ng panibago, I ve one last pill. When I deactivated my Facebook account tas deleted my tumblr account parang nasuffocate ako, ang hirap na wala kang mapaglabasan ng nyetang unwanted emotions na to. nakakagigil. hindi ko naman makwento kay R kase she'll definitely ask for details eh kahit ako hindi ko alam kung anong detalye ibibigay sa kanya, I wasnt even sure what really happened, couldnt talk to G... ah basta! it somehow feels good to have this blog again, ung emptiness mas lumaganap. Its all in the mind daw (sabi niya) lahat ng sinasabi ko ngayon sa kahit na sino dito sa bahay puro na lang sabi niya, according to him blah blah blah. puro na lang siya, ang pathetic ko lang.
Kasabay ng pagbalik sa pag-inom, I also went back to smoking. *roll eyes* nagrereklamo na si mama...
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